Many times we find it difficult to pick up the phone and call somebody we want or need to talk to. Communication is a difficult process as it is. Not to have the benefit of non-verbal language and not to see how the other reacts to what we say can make us very insecure.

Many people rehearse before making a formal call and others experience true anxiety attacks. A useful tool to prevent such discomfort are conversation starters

and more so, telephone conversations starters. A first step would be a strong grasp of normal telephone etiquette. This can help you keep control over the start and course of the discussion but doesn’t leave room for any excitement or spontaneous dialogue. Even so, knowing this etiquette is very useful when you make formal, official calls. A normal greeting phrase, suited for the situation and then presenting yourself is all you need to remember saying before you go on to the true purpose of your call. You can then make sure you are talking to the person who can best help you and then introduce your problem or question and the rest just naturally flows from the dialogue.

Things are completely different as far as calling friends is concerned. It’s hard to believe people are anxious before calling a friend but what if you have romantic feelings for that friend? What if you had had a recent argument with that friend or what you are in the beginning stages of the friendship? These are just some occasions that can make us nervous and insecure about ourselves. Useful conversation starters can be prepared beforehand but it is very difficult to make the conversation more natural and honest afterwards. That’s why it would be best for our not to prepare the exact line you are going to say but to just focus on the tone or the thing you want to talk about. If you are authentically concerned about how that person is you should also not have any problems thinking what to ask. It gets much easier once you start to use the same starters every time you talk with that person because you will get used to it and to answering the phone with a fixed line.

Be careful not to remain silent for too long. Ask something or cough anything really. If you’re calling just as a pass time there’s no reason to let the conversation become passive. Spice it up with a joke or if you’re calling pretend you’re somebody else and then, after you’re both relaxed and amused just chat about the day, about small things just to know that you made the time that day to communicate and refresh your friendship.

Thestupidest questions around are always those about evident things. This is a statement subjected to no debate. We all frowned about such a question at least once in our lives. Such questions, apparently rhetorical but actually far from being intended as such, can leave you paralyzed. Should you answer, should you just point at the answer, should you laugh, should you resent having to waste your energy?

The best thing to do is take the time to answer calmly and then be very careful not to later ask such a question yourself.

Let’s see some examples of such questions as the situations that make then so dumb. When a friend falls and starts crying, asking him if it hurts is definitely dumb and risky if the other person gets annoyed easily. If your mother starts screaming after she cuts her finger and you go into the kitchen and ask if she cut her finger don’t be surprised if she answers that she bit if off.

Asking for directions across the street from the place you want to go to is undoubtedly seen as dumb. Asking a help desk if it can help you with exactly what is posted in large letters above might also be considered dumb.

Self-evident questions aren’t the only dumb questions we should avoid. Other questions can be just as dumb depending a lot on the situations and circumstances in which you choose to ask your question. There are also some dumb questions that are stupid no matter the circumstance.

A perfect example is asking: “What do batteries run on?” This question’s only chance of not annoying others is the fact that it’s quite funny and could make anybody laugh out loud and then worry about the way they look in the situation.

Dumb questions can also be used as voluntary jokes and you don’t have to seem stupid if you tell it as a joke. If you ask what should you tell God if while you’re talking with him He sneezes. This is guaranteed to make people laugh and the only person who would perceive you as stupid simply has no sense of humor or has not got the joke, which doesn’t tell us something good about him.

Other funny question that seem silly can actually be perceived as whit. If you ask: “If crime doesn’t pay does that mean that my job is a crime?”, people will laugh and appreciate your elaborate sense of humor.

Back to truly dumb questions, there’s one more we should make sure to always avoid are the inappropriate ones. Don’t ask your father-in-law what you would ask your best friend and don’t ask your lover what you would ask your mother.

Older people are like springs of knowledge and we should all remember this and take advantage of the benefits of learning from other people’s experience. Older people aren’t necessarily always wiser or right but their opinion should still count, at least as an example of a different mentality influenced by the times they grew up in.

Elderly people tend to be calmer and to assess a situation calmly and with patience. When a young person would act impulsive and within a momentary lapse of reason the older person would weigh things before having a clear reaction.

What questions should we never forget to ask older people? The number is virtually boundless but we should not forget that they are old and get tired easily so chose your questions responsibly.

We all have grandparents to patiently listen and answer our questions. The most frequent question grandchildren ask is about how they were as a child and how the world was back then. These types of questions can trigger many memories for the grandparents and a long and exciting story is bound to follow. The problem is actually not that they have patience with us but that we have the patience and respect to listen to them.

Always remember to ask your grandparents about the history of your own family. Let’s say it can be reasonable to be ignorant of world history but to be ignorant of your own family’s history is unpardonable and down-right embarrassing. You also never know what interesting and relevant things you’ll find out. You most likely will learn that things and people aren’t so different from a generation to another, it’s just that their passions and interests take different shapes in different times. You’ll find out they encountered the same difficulties with growing up and relationships. You can get precious advice on what is realistic about ambitions and passions you want to pursue. We can all experience things different but many times we can see a pattern in how things evolve for different people.

In the course of your life, even if you didn’t pay attention to the advice of the elderly, you’re bound to run into a situation in which you’ll remember something they had said and understand what it was they were trying to warn you about. And it might then be too late for you to change anything. So don’t underestimate the things they want to share with you and the legacy they will leave with you. These are all solid reasons for you to grant older people the respect they deserve.

There are however many older people that don’t seem to have benefited with any wisdom from their life. Even so, we should still respect them though we can’t always expect them to be right and spread knowledge.

How can we define what’s weird? Is it something exponentially stupid, or something inadequate or just something we don’t seem to understand? Either way, people would least of all start a conversation with anything that can seem even remotely weird. Communication is fragile enough already. Play safe when you approach somebody. Let the weirdness kick in later if it is a must.

What are weird conversation starters we should all avoid? Specific examples can be given but you’ll have to judge for yourself if what you’re thinking of as a conversation starter is similar to these examples. And now, the number one question you should never start a conversation with is this: “I spoke to Jesus last night, Jesus Christ.” This has no place in a common day-to-day conversation. In fact, religious subjects are generally the least recommended subjects with which to start a conversation. Nowadays, with all the prophets going around people are bound to immediately suspect that you want to convert them to some cult. So, if that’s the case, you should slip it in later in the conversation.

Next in the top of weird conversation starters is this one: “Wanna see something weird?” This is by definition a weird conversation starter. It might get the other person slightly interested but even so it is sure you’ll never have that person for a friend. Let’s move on with another starter better left unsaid: “You remind me of a cell mate of mine.” This is a good example of an entire category of bad conversation starters. All things related to a suspicious or weird past should be avoided. Why encourage prejudice about yourself? Give yourself a chance not to be judged by your past.

“Watch this..” is another example of a top of the list weird conversation starter. What could you possibly want somebody to see with no adequate introduction? That’s definitely a surprise factor with little chances of earning you admiration and respect.

Knock, knock jokes are most of the time considered to be a weird conversation starter but they can easily be given a positive spin. An appropriate and good knock knock joke can make you look adorable. It’s still weird of course but weird is not necessarily always a bad thing.

Still, a question remains. Are “did you know” facts weird conversation starters? They are a little forced but they can be very effective and even interesting. Well this is easy to answer. If you’re in a cafe and the “did you know” starter is similar to this: “Did you know that an ostrich’s eye is bigger than his brain?” than you are definitely weird. If you’re in the café, having a soda and the starter resembles to this one: ” Did you know that Coca Cola was originally green?” then you still have a chance at sounding normal. The idea is that you have to adapt the starter to the situation. This also means that a weird situation can also call for a weird conversation starter.

What do people know about the Mexican revolution? The question that inevitably follows is why should you know anything about the Mexican revolution? Well, first of all, it was a significant event which happened right in USA’s backyard, as critics of US foreign policy like to put it.

The whole movement was so vast that it encompassed socialist, liberal, anarchist, populist and also agrarianist secondary movements. It was only a question of time before the struggle led by Francisco I Madero against the established rule under Porfiro Diaz, turned into a full-on civil war on more than two fronts.

Are you asking yourself yet how much the revolution lasted? It lasted until 1920 and if you’re wondering what it came out of the whole thing; the answer is a new constitution and basically, a new rule under the National Revolutionary Party. This formation kept hold of the power for a long time, until the 2000 elections.

This is mainly what happened but I am sure that there are some more questions people ask themselves about the Mexican revolution. Some of them might even not know their questions have something to do with this event. For example, who are the Zapatistas? I am sure that many of you, on more than one occasion, have heard a reference to Zapatista women, especially with the modern feminist movements.

Who were the Zapatista women and what did they have to do with the revolution? Women were very actively involved in the revolution and they had a great influence on how society came into shape after the movement. Bear in mind that this happened in a time when women were almost entirely excluded from any political matters, and a time when few western women questioned why that was the general state of affairs.

The Mexican women first gave aid to Zapatista soldiers in their homes but soon enough these women became soldiers themselves. Their most common motivation was revenge for the death of loved ones. They were men’s clothing and were heavily armed.

The question we get to next is who is this Zapata? Emiliano Zapata was a key figure of the revolution, fighting on the side of the peasants, for their political and economical emancipation. He was also called the Attila of the South and was assassinated in 1919.

These are just surface facts. If you want to really understand and appreciate this part of history you have to do a lot of research. Even so, the last question you should ask yourself even if you don’t want to go deeper into the subjects, is what was USA’s involvement in the whole thing? It’s no surprise that this involvement at the turn of the century is mainly economical. You might be shocked to find out that at that time about 27% of Mexican land was owned by American companies. For economical reasons, once again, we were well involved in the conflict and gave our support to whoever was in power. On two occasions the US government even sent troops to Mexico

These are just a few facts you should know about the Mexican revolution, and this revolution is just one in a long line of events all Americans should ask more about, since our government is sure to come out at one point in our investigations as a significant force of influence.

With all the teen hypes around and all the flourishing market of teen culture and especially media products there’s really no difficulty in for teens to interact with each other. But can you also truly relate to one another? Adolescence is a pretty uncomfortable time in many ways because we undergo many changes and most of them are very visible. We have to start being more responsible and our presence is felt more and more as that of somebody who should have something to say. We are subjected to constant evaluation and we experience new feelings and pressures.

Can we then just go out and have conversations about movies, bands and collections items? Yes we can. Movies, music, books and hobbies are the best way to relate to others. When you like a book that says something about you and if somebody else likes the same book that right there can be the start of  beautiful question. When your young you don’t really feel it’s necessary to talk about your feelings and emotions about the world but you can attach these emotions to things you like around you. Strong character teens will most likely take up a sport like rock climbing and become friends with other rock climbers. Dancers will find it easier to communicate between themselves being that they are sensitive and artful. All you hobbies and interests are the best conversation starters with other teens.

For example, if somebody says he likes the beat generation than you know without having to go into detail that you are talking to an person enthusiastic about life and a good choice to take on a road trip with you.

But if you want to start a conversation with somebody who seems very different you can try out more of your interests or even become interested in their own passions. Adolescence is a time for learning and sharing experiences. It is also full of awkward moments and humiliating experiences but that is just part of the deal of growing up.

Other good conversation starters are courses and teachers. Once again few things can unite people and mainly teen than a common enemy. When we are in our teens we can be pretty cruel and at times forget that the others are going through mostly the same things as us. Groups form, teens take on different roles and soon enough we can see an hierarchy forming and topics, unspoken rules for discussion and interaction become just part of the system.

When groups form the best thing is to keep your independence and don’t be afraid to break some rules. With other teens you can get away with anything if you have a good sense of humor.

We  all get the feeling sometimes that we keep ourselves busy with shallow  stuff and that real and deep significance of things escape  us. There are many moments in the adult life when you find yourself  talking with somebody without having any sense whatsoever about what is  actually going on with that person. That gets even sadder when the  person you’re talking to is an old friend.

We can’t always put ourselves out there in conversations and expect  others to do as well. It would be to exhausting and constantly keeping  your guard down is no way to live and relate to people nowadays. Even  so, when you’re talking with an old friend or somebody that shows clear  signs of some kind of distress you feel like you should find a way to go  deeper with the conversation and be of some kind of help.

Talking with an old friend about some frivolous thing when you know  he or she is preoccupied with something else can estrange, alienate the  other and you can both end frustrated. Unless you ignore the subject by  intent you should make sure to start off with clear sympathetic  nonverbal signs of communication. Smile moderately and touch your  friend’s arm or shoulder as to show your support.

If your friend doesn’t seem to want to take it might just be because  he or she doesn’t think you would care or be comfortable with the  subject. If that’s the case first of all you should make sure you and  your friend and somewhere quiet and that no interference can threaten  your talk.

A deep conversation  starter is always in the tone. Ask how  that person is feeling and make sure you make it clear that you want to  know what is really happening inside and what troubles her or him.  Remind your friend of some other occasion when you helped each other and  try to make it easier for your friend to come out by trying to subtly  guess what’s wrong. Be dedicated to the conversation and say something  deep about yourself too, like an insecurity or something that also  troubles you. We all have something we wouldn’t mind to take off our  chest once in a while.

Deep conversations rarely take place between people who meet for the  first time but it’s not impossible. Sometimes the easiest way to talk  about your inner fears and problems is to do it with a stranger,  somebody who doesn’t know you and doesn’t have any prejudice in what  concerns your life and character.

When you just want to know a person better, a person who you find  attractive or who can even fascinate you, a deep conversation starter is  hard to find. You risk scaring the other person away for good. A good   starter would be one that tests the waters for following through  with the conversation. You could ask about a writer or a song to suggest  some deeper interest or you could just bluntly say you would like to  get to know him or her better.

Kids can be quite intimidating sometimes. You’d better have a good starter to say to them when they stare at you because they don’t  have the patience to wait for you to get inspired. They will maybe  frown, maybe lower your self-esteem a little or maybe just annoy you.  Either way, if you can’t communicate with them you’re bound to charge  yourself with some negative energy. Things are not so dramatic but we  all remember a time when the clumsiness of talking to a kid left  you bummed out.

f you meet a friend with a child there’s a pressure for you to look  natural and friendly. But what if the kid frowns and puts out his tongue  in disapproval? Can you risk that? Sure you can wave your hand and  raise your shoulders as if to say that kids can me very mysterious. But  why not have something ready for them, a question or maybe even a treat.

And what if your own kid doesn’t listen to you? You can always grab a  kid’s attention with a treat but with their short span of attention you  better have something else installed to keep hold of it. Talk loudly  and try to make eye contact when you address the kid. A smile would be  best but that probably depends on the situation. Kids most likely  respond to questions closer to their own perception of reality. Ask  them about their adventures in the park and ask them about their toy  cars and barbies, maybe even give them serious advice about them. Being  serious and taking them seriously is very important because kids don’t  really like it when you talk down to them. You can joke and smile of  course but just like you would do it with a friend your age.

A classic but still a good starter can also be to ask him  about his age and his name. That way you might find some associations to  make with those details. Tell them your age too. That might be kind of  fun for them and sometimes inverting the roles of parents and kids in a  conversation can be helpful too. For example you can ask a kid where  he’s taking his parents and if it was time for their walk. That might  confuse him at first but either way your sense of humor will be  appreciated by the parents unless you’re the parent and then you can  have fun with your kid and sometimes actually let him think he’s leading  the walk.

Talking to kids can be very rewarding and relaxing. Some say it’s  just like therapy and that kids send out such positive energy. Talking  to them might just as well be a breath of fresh air amidst the tedious conversations we have during the day with the other grown-ups about daily stress or  other practical issues.

Class reunions are always something you either love or hate.  There’s really no in between. You’re either pleased with yourself and  anxious to show it or you don’t feel accomplished yet and dread any  public appearance of that sort. All in all you have to make a decision  and you shouldn’t forget that you’ve known those people for a long time  and that you probably won’t get the chance to see them again in the near  future. Set your insecurities aside and just go ahead and make a modest  appearance if that’s the case. Your presence and your attitude can do  more for you than your absence.

How can you avoid those abrupt conversation starters and  questions about your list of accomplishments so far and your family  life? “What have you been up to lately?” seems like the most harmless way in which you can approach someone. And it probably would be better for you to  be the one initiating the conversation. That way you can lead the way  and you can insert short references about your own experiences so far  and that way nobody will have to hold a speech about themselves, unless  they want to of course. Keep the dialogue going and mingle. Don’t stay  too long with just one person there otherwise it will be just like in  high school with small groups forming and closing up to others. That  does tend to happen also in reunions so if you were a member of such a  group don’t talk with just those friends it but keep it as a back-up  group.

Smile and nod and frown when necessary. An active expression shows  you’re confident and that you don’t care about others judging you. You  should also not be in a hurry to judge others. Everybody is kind of  vulnerable at class reunions. There’s also a lot of emotion involved,  nostalgia and strong friendships and the roles will not necessarily be  like in high school. The bully can now be a respectable person, the most  popular girl could now be a house-wise and the nerdiest of all could  now be a success story. Keep this in mind and always approach people  without prejudice.

Class reunions are perfect to recollect memories from high  school, to reunite with your best friends and to discuss on changes in  your life and the world around. There’s really no chance to exhaust  topics and the biggest problem with conversation starters is  probably where to start from.

The decision to attend such occasion should definitely not have your  own life as a main criteria. No matter how you feel about yourself you  shouldn’t feel ashamed and you shouldn’t refuse yourself the chance to  see old friends and satisfy your own curiosity. If you are enthusiastic  about going and can’t wait to show off your perfect life, don’t be too  self absorbed and don’t talk all evening about yourself.

What makes for a successful date? Is it making yourself look good or is it finding as much as you can about the other person? The answer probably involves both aspects but what’s the use of being found attractive by someone you can’t tell if you like that person at the end of the date? We are all narcissistic enough to enjoy being admired without any finality but the purpose of a date is to find out if it can develop into something more consistent.

The focus should then be on getting to know the other one while keeping self-aware of yourself in the whole picture. Never forget to ask the fundamental question if whether he has been in another relationship recently. The baggage a person caries from a past relationship can be decisive. Starting from that you can share both your views on relationships and also get a sense of your availability when it comes to commitment and a fresh start.

Then you can go on to ask about hobbies, passions, even work and always take your time with the subject of family. Family is a very good subject for a date as it has the power to make the people open up and maybe even become a little more emotional. Don’t go too much into detail as you should always be able to return to getting to know each other and focus on the perspective of forming a couple.

You shouldn’t be afraid to be a little romantic and whatever the subject at hand, flirt, just don’t lose focus. Make sure that the evening doesn’t before you know what he does for a living and who he shares most of his time with. In turn, let the other know about your own priorities in life and your own strengths and weaknesses.

There’s always a part of the date that should be kept for light conversation. You don’t want it to turn into a job interview. Take the time to talk about more frivolous things, like jokes, movies, favorite food and so on. This will give you the opportunity to flirt some more and become more relaxed. Furthermore, it gives you an impression about the character of the other person, the basic behavior and confidence that person has in new situations. This is also a good time to become familiar with the person’s presence and to start gaining that person’s trust.

Honesty and receptiveness are the main ingredients of a successful date, and by successful I mean only that at its end you’ll be able to know where you stand. You don’t have to be frustrated if the conclusions don’t favor an eventual relationship. You can feel good that you put yourself out there once again and hope for better luck next time. Practice makes perfect.