Many times we find it difficult to pick up the phone and call somebody we want or need to talk to. Communication is a difficult process as it is. Not to have the benefit of non-verbal language and not to see how the other reacts to what we say can make us very insecure.

Many people rehearse before making a formal call and others experience true anxiety attacks. A useful tool to prevent such discomfort are conversation starters

and more so, telephone conversations starters. A first step would be a strong grasp of normal telephone etiquette. This can help you keep control over the start and course of the discussion but doesn’t leave room for any excitement or spontaneous dialogue. Even so, knowing this etiquette is very useful when you make formal, official calls. A normal greeting phrase, suited for the situation and then presenting yourself is all you need to remember saying before you go on to the true purpose of your call. You can then make sure you are talking to the person who can best help you and then introduce your problem or question and the rest just naturally flows from the dialogue.

Things are completely different as far as calling friends is concerned. It’s hard to believe people are anxious before calling a friend but what if you have romantic feelings for that friend? What if you had had a recent argument with that friend or what you are in the beginning stages of the friendship? These are just some occasions that can make us nervous and insecure about ourselves. Useful conversation starters can be prepared beforehand but it is very difficult to make the conversation more natural and honest afterwards. That’s why it would be best for our not to prepare the exact line you are going to say but to just focus on the tone or the thing you want to talk about. If you are authentically concerned about how that person is you should also not have any problems thinking what to ask. It gets much easier once you start to use the same starters every time you talk with that person because you will get used to it and to answering the phone with a fixed line.

Be careful not to remain silent for too long. Ask something or cough anything really. If you’re calling just as a pass time there’s no reason to let the conversation become passive. Spice it up with a joke or if you’re calling pretend you’re somebody else and then, after you’re both relaxed and amused just chat about the day, about small things just to know that you made the time that day to communicate and refresh your friendship.

There’s always an awkwardness to going out in a larger group at least in the first few minutes until a topic or more get going and people can pick the subject they want to pursue. It’s always easier to go out in two but it rarely has the potential to turn out as fun. Even if you’re in a new group or in a group of old friends there will still be a moment of suspense before somebody cracks the ice and you might as well do it yourself. If you’re out in a pub with a small group of friends or colleagues you can always pump up the conversation by ordering a first round of drinks and making harmless observations about the choices people make. There’s always a good vibe to a friendly tease. Then look well who it is that’s with you and you’re bound to have a pending question for at least one of the people there. Ask and don’t worry to much about integrating everybody into the discussion. Once one conversation starts the others will feel more at ease and comfortable to start their own conversation or just interfere in the ones of the others. If the environment you’re in is work related than the subject are best kept neutral and formal. Even if you’re on a break and your colleagues are also good friends you shouldn’t distance yourself too much from the general atmosphere. Use topics as assignments, the usual gossip but always make sure you know who’s around and how formal and informal relations generally form within the company. Breaks are usually short and everybody is mostly focused of making the most of them. If it’s a lunch break don’t spend it with a group which makes you tense but spend it with friends and then you won’t have to worry to much about conversation. After all the whole point of a lunch break is enjoying the meal.

Other popular topics for a decent conversation in a small group can involve travel plans which you have, holiday plans. Everybody feels nice to talk about projects for the future and to put aside the thought of work and focus on plans to spend your free time. The others will also be more than happy to take their turn at describing their holiday plans. You might even get some practical use out of this. You never know how you can improve your plans. There’s a lot of information out there but some things are best found out through experience and what better way to share that experience than through conversation.

There are many topics you can think of that make a good conversation but always make sure you ask the other persons about his well-being without asking for too many details. It is good to be considerate and interested in the others before launching a conversation. That way you’ll all know you’re not just talking just for wasting time .

Christmas parties are the occasion to interact with your colleagues or associates in a more informal setting and finally get to wear that outfit you’ve been dying to show off but couldn’t in a regular formal context. Family Christmas parties are no longer the pinnacle of the holiday. Once people couldn’t wait to strip from their work clothes, persona and spend time with the family but in these modern times, when job and personal life intermingle, the ultimate Christmas party is the one that gives you a new chance to reaffirm yourself, to be charming without much of the formal restraints and to just enjoy what you have achieved so far.

No matter how mind blowing the outfit might be, we all need good conversational skills or we’d be socially dead. So it’s Christmas, so it’s a celebration. Well, many see it as just a different episode of their job. So what can you talk about at such a party? How do you initiate a successful conversation when the general feeling is that business is tabu and that one should not go too deep into their personal lives.

Well one great conversation starter is commenting on the party, the food, the atmosphere. There’s always something to work on when you talk about your likes and dislikes. You can easily slip into references to other parties you’ve been to and maybe even tackle some of your own personal preferences and always inquire those of other people. Don’t forget to dig into the food and beverages at the party. Show you are relaxed and enjoying yourself. The only turn off is of course the moderation factor. Nobody likes to see somebody so profoundly concentrated on consuming that conversation is the furthest thing from his intentions and the intentions of others.

Your basic Christmas party can take many shapes and put on different disguises. Smell every opportunity to talk about what the buzz is, if that’s the case. Make sure you’re not left out and always focus on adapting, mingling and feeling good. After all, it’s a party and everybody should also perceive this time as a time off and no matter how careful you still have to be not to step on anybody’s toes, remember that everybody likes someone who knows how to party and let go. Be careful only for that fine line between letting go in good taste and letting go in bad taste. Only you can tell this line judging from others’ actions .

Other great conversation starters can be your own family Christmas party. People usually like to share this kind of personal information and it can bring them together. You get the chance to mention your loved ones and also give others a chance to another to do the same. Then you’ll both know where your heart truly is and that’s enough to assign you that fundamental conversation partner to whom you can come back to more times during the party.

First dates are always awkward and dangerously trigger high levels of anxiety and stress, that is if you want it to go somewhere and we all know, no matter how disillusioned we are, there’s always some hope in the perspective of a fresh relationship.

Naturally, conversation is the ice-breaker within reach for anyone calm enough to assess his condition, risks and opportunities. So why not go better prepared to a first date? Some topics can be of interest to virtually all people and if you keep all options in sight you won’t have any trouble bringing up a subject and, first rule, no matter how much your date shrugs or raises his/her eyebrows, never abandon a subject abruptly! What will follow is a silence so deep that it will echo with failure.

So keep a relaxed tone of voice, don’t suffocate your words. Be confident and prepared to laugh at your own clumsiness.

But what are these subjects and conversation starters that you can really master beforehand? The first would be, of course, compliments, loads of compliments. Don’t exaggerate but make sure you are not the only one ready to be confident and rather amused instead of frustrated. Always remember you are both in the same situation.

The next classical subject which should be mentioned here just so that you don’t forget about it, is dating. To find out the other person’s point of view on dating and chances of success can be very significant and can also bring you closer and more at ease with the whole situation.

You probably already knew these two starters but always make sure you smooth things up by body language. Don’t just spit out words as if memorized before. Last rule before going into the more subtle strategies: listen to your date, feel possible directions, find a flow and go with it.

Now conversation starters, together with wine, imply more mastership to be turned into genuine success. There’s only so much wine you can drink before conversation should take off and replace it.

So take a first sip of whatever social lubricant you consume, make a compliment, share your views on dating and then start off to making him/her open up gradually. Ask questions like: “Have you been in the dating business for long or have you been married?” “Do you have any children?”, “Are you more of a career person?”. Try to feel where he/she would like to detail the subject. Try to hit a chord as to what is most important in her life and always insert short comments about your own experience with the same think. Be sympathetic and slightly curious, interested whatever your true reactions. This kind of attitude is more likely to give you better chances at becoming truly interested that just nodding, letting your mind drift away, yawning.

When this part of the conversation seems saturated you should move on to more neutral subjects. There has been constant debate on whether people should start with neutral subjects and gently touch on more personal subjects later in the conversation but that increases the risk of alienating the other and not being able to ever return naturally to what you really wanted to know.

Neutral subjects can range from entertainment to art and leisure. You shouldn’t bring up politics, religion or other controversial subjects on a first date. You wouldn’t want any prejudice to take the lead. Unless of course you are neutral on the subject.

Let the surroundings inspire you and, last rule, never check out on someone else!

People just like gossiping. Whenever or wherever they are, no matter what kind of problem they might have, if they hear a good gossip, they immediately lighten up, and forget about their problems. It’s not that we are amused by someone’s troubles or failures, is just that we are somehow delighted to hear that it can go wrong for others too not just for us.

Also, when we hear something good about others (which is quite rare I must add), we tend not to believe it, or to try and make it look as if it is overrated or exaggerated.  So maybe it’s not a good thing that we like gossip, but there is nothing we can do about it: it is in our genes. Many times, even if you are not gossiping at all, you find out that you have made a quite good gossip topic among some people you know, or even people who you don’t know. So there is almost no way to avoid gossip.

So what do you if you are one of those persons who doesn’t like gossiping but still have to face some friends who do, or have to go to a meeting where the main topic will include a great deal of gossiping and telling the “latest news” about others.

You can think of a good conversation starter to avoid gossip sin. The very first thing you should do is to try not to talk about other people. The first step to gossiping is to bring up an issue about some other people. So always try to avoid that if you want to avoid gossip.

Instead of starting a conversation about other people, you can come up with a good conversation starter to avoid gossip sin by asking funny, silly or interesting questions. These questions are not related to anyone, so talking and laughing about them could harm no one.

There are many interesting questions which you can use to start a conversation, and you can be sure your partners will even forget about gossiping, and they even might realize that having an interesting conversation is more fun and even more useful, than gossiping endlessly about someone else’s life.

So you can start by asking what their favorite destination to travel in the world is. You can be sure that everyone dreams about exotic places or historical locations where they might like to go. Ladies especially will just love to talk about fashion centers like Milano, Roma, Paris or other places that are romantic and full of adventure.

By starting a question like this, you’ll have quite good chances to avoid useless gossip. But what happens when they all said what they had to say about their favorite places, and you feel like conversation turns once again into gossiping.  That is when you should have another gossip avoiding question to ask. It can be almost anything. You can even try a silly question like, what is the speed of the dark. If you have among them people who are at bit interested in physics, you can be sure they will have a good conversation topic.

So it’s not important what you ask, until your partners are hooked up on them, you can be sure you’ve avoided gossip.