It is said that you can’t really know someone even if you are beside him for a lifetime. It is also said that you can’t even know yourself. All these might be true; however, there could be certain differences in how good you can get to know somebody and this depends first of all on you and on the other person. Even if you can’t know him entirely, that doesn’t mean that he cannot be a very close person to you, whom you can trust and believe in.

After all, that’s all you have to know about someone. Is he trustful, is he honest, could he be a good friend or partner for you?

Experience say that you can get to know someone by spending much time together, playing games, traveling, doing sports or any other activity that implies interacting with one another. It is said that it’s best this way because it cannot be told in words what you can experience, or what nonverbal communication offers you. One might say whatever he wants, but that is not always the truth and eventually he’ll have to prove himself.

However would this be, we have to admit that you can get to know a person quite well mostly by talking to him. The important thing is to know what and how to talk. And let us not forget that even a good chat, based on talking, sends a great deal on nonverbal signals as well. So what question to ask to get to know someone?

First you have to know how to start it so you’ll need a good conversation starter. You should always try to formulate questions aiming your partner’s personality. This doesn’t mean that you have to ask him what kind of personality he has.

An interesting thing when questioning someone in order to know him better, is related to the idea of  never asking him direct questions. Asking him directly will give him the chance to answer you what he wants you to believe, and he can manipulate your impressions about him.

So try to pose these questions indirectly, so you can read between the lines. He might not even notice that the answer he just gave you, tells a lot more about his personality that he wanted to. This could go both in good or bad directions. Asking indirect questions is also useful in the case of a shy person, with whom one has to be more sensitive.

However, instead of asking him what his hobby is, ask him what are those three things that he would take on a deserted island?  By trying to tell you about his hobbies, he might “color” a little bit his interests in his need of presenting himself as a better and more interesting person.

But when one thinks about what are those three things they cannot live without, they tend to be more honest and tell the truth. He might not even know that by answering that question he just told a lot about himself, his needs, his interests and his personality.

So the point is that you should always try to pose intelligent questions when asking, and think of what sort of answers you can get, or whether that answer will help you in knowing better the other person.